guess what? i'm done writing you songs.

Yeah, no, I'm really still listening to "Everything In Transit" almost everyday. Yes, I'm listening to it now. Yes, I'm so fucking stoked that I'll be seeing Jack's Mannequin in Detroit on Warped in a little less than two months. God, how fucking insane is that? I made a list of the "must-see" bands, with slightly less important bands on a second list in case of inevitable weird scheduling.

Got The Matches stickers in the mail from the Epitaph street team the other day. One's owning the side of my dresser, the rest are waiting, because once I get more stickers and posters, I have plans.

Wore my Pig Cloth "Pig On Tour" shirt for the first time today. Still wearing it. It's printed on American Apparel, so it's like, super-comfortable. I'm in love with the neckline too, it's pretty perfect. I love it. I want to shower tonite and then wear my TWLOHA Paramore title shirt to school tomorrow for the first time, maybe?

there's a piece of me in every single second of every single day.

Still musiccrushing on Jack's Mannequin, big time. And I'm getting into Metro Station, last names aside. And even though it's so uncool, I might start digging on Angels & Airwaves. Hey haterkids, fuck you, okay?

Six and a half days of hell left until I'm confined to the prison that is my home. High points for this summer are nothing, and Warped Tour. Warped makes me super nervous though, because somehow I'm going to have to shower and wash my hair and shit and live at my aunt's house and I've never been there and it freaks me out more than a little.

I felt like complete shit yesterday and today I feel like complete shit with a headache. I got a lot of sleep last night, but it wasn't all good sleep. I'll admit it, it feels like anxiety is eating me alive. Guh.

So, realizing that I lost the five-subject black notebook that I had first semester, I have, as of today, begun replotting my oh-eight NaNoWriMo novel. I had like, almost everything worked decently out in the other notebook, so now I just have to try to remember high points and make everything else better.

And, other than Hell's Kitchen, I think I'm sunk for good TV until mid-June. Lame.

i read your letter, the one you left when you broke into my house.

It was a fuckedup nite for season finales, I swear.
To Bones: Fuck you for making my cute little young Zachykid a murderer and the member of a secret society led by a serial killer. That is just so fuckedup. It should've been Sweets, I thought it was Sweets.
To One Tree Hill: Fuck you for not telling me who recieved that phonecall, and eww, fuck you for letting Skillz continue to sleep with Nathan's mom. Not cool, not cool at all. Also, I dug the mohawk, shaving it, also not cool.
To House: Ohshit. I cried at the end. I did not know that i was going to have to watch a man hold his dying love in his arms and then flip the switches, while he blames his best friend who was also close to death or brain damage. Way emotion-heavy. Very brutal. Very killing and stabbing.

God, that got the adrenaline up.

A-E-I-O-must be an addiction.

I got three fabulous hours of Surivor tonite, two for the finale, one for the reunion. I'm pissed at TAI... fans everywhere because I really thought we could unite and get Jason the 100k of mu-lah that he so obviously deserves. But, no, you pathetic asses couldn't even get him in the top fucking three. Parvati won, and I could actually be more upset about that than I am. It sucks that it's over, it was a fun-ass ride. Next season in Gabon? Maybe.

Caught up once again with "This Deliberate Life". Paul is good in bed, huh? Okay. Weirdo. You have no idea how much it hurts to say this, but I'm having to stop myself from re-evaluating longtime loyalties and love. I don't think I'd survive the questioning though.

Oh, and as of yesterday... I'M GOING TO WARPED TOUR. IN DETROIT. IN JULY. HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT?! Alex is going too, and I'm hoping that'll work out too. I'm stoked.

Charlotte Sometimes has won my heart. This week, I'll try The Cab.

i'm AWAKE andivebeen LOSINGsleep, ivebeen Fighting allmy DEMONS, ivebeen gettingWEAK.

"Waves and the Both of Us" by Charlotte Sometimes is an amazing album. After a few more listens, I may have to try putting it on a list. "AEIOU" and "Losing Sleep" are songs that the whole world should be required to listen to.

Sometime this week I have to go out and have my fingers crossed that I can get my hands on the Cobra Starship/May issue of AP. Even if I have to go to Richmond, I must get it. Like, it's non-negotiable.

Also, fingers crossed that maybe soon I can preorder HeyChris's "Notes From the Deep End", because I know that there's almost no chance for me to see him on his upcoming summer tour. I have one more hour of Eliza Cuts/Dave Cronin radio show to listen to before I'm back to being caught up.

Speaking of Eliza Cuts, I read 'Commit Me Already'. It hurt a lot to read. I don't know how I'm going to look at and listen to some certain heroes of mine in the same light. It's just a very complicated situation, and there's a lot to think about. I think it'll all be alright, though.

Speaking of albums, no really, I was a minute ago, I downloaded (oh, throw the rocks) The Cab's debut album "Whisper War" and I'm waiting for the time to give them a chance. Mind: open.

Survivor this week was devasting. No more dudes. No more Erik Icecream, who was my second love on this season. I think the finale/reunion show thing is tomorrow, but it could be next Sunday, oh well, I shall be prepared either way. I'm anxious. But I already said it, I'm pulling for Amanda now, even if she's why Erik's gone.

i can LOVE you much Better.

we're the believers and the makers,
the movers and the shakers.

with love from a burning hot laptop at 11.30pm,
deadxtired.

we'll learn about PHILOSOPHY by drawing on our arms.

Listening to Backseat Goodbye's debut full-length, "Dressed Up Like Dreams", and if I had ever forgotten, this would make me remember why I fell so in love with this kid. But that's one thing I'm almost sure that I'll never forget.
As of now, I'm six tracks in.

Still have two hours worth of podcasts to listen to before I'm completely caught up with "This Deliberate Life". Which so sounds like the name of a weirdo soap opera. Tella Novella for the Mexican kid.

I think after this album, I'm going to start going through and listening to old Fall Out Boy songs. Just to see if I've outgrown them yet. Which I didn't even start considering as even a possibility until this past week. I think you could call this a crisis of faith.
Track seven on "Dressed Up Like Dreams" is "Technicolor Eyes", which is one of my alltime favorite BG songs.

This is an "all smiles and sunshine" type of album, but not obnoxiously, optimistically. And it's just as beautifully crafted and seamless as I always dreamed it would be. I love that I chose to buy this album. But it wasn't really a choice, because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't support this kid.
Track eight is "Hey", and "I'll be the bright side of your bad day, I'll be the bright side of your bad night, I'll be the bright side of your bad day, if you'll be mine."
Switched to track nine now.

"if my life had a soundtrack it would be acoustic with songs about the way i laugh and my ability to love" - "Calico Kitten"
Umm, Chad, kid, I think you got your wish on that one.
"I had a good day. Since I didn't die or have to wait. In any really long lines at the store." - 'Calico Kitten'
I think that could be my favorite song on this album.

This is good for me.
Track twelve as good as the first as perfect as every other.
Five or so tracks left, and this is golden.

i am NOT your Concern.

I'm scatterbrained like someone put a gun to my head.
My moods are better suited for schoolyards and child's play. They swing in under an hour's time.
I think my fuse gets shorter with every cut. If you know what I mean.

The AP Tour was this past Saturday, and it was an incredible night that I'll never forget. The new best day of my life. Big things went down. No more story telling.

Today I poured seven pounds of sugar in the form of suckers, Sweetarts, sour Skittles, and Coke Zero down my throat. I think I have now reached my destination : crash. It's going to be a shaky letdown.

"Goodbye Blues" is an amazing album when you give it a second chance. I think it's going to help me a lot.

The video for "That Green Gentleman" premiered today, and it's heartbreakingly beautiful minus the shameless and gross moment-ruining, scene-destroying product placement.

I'm looking forward to fucking living out a summer that would provoke envy from October Fall.

P.S. who believes that i've been in a month-long "relationship"? not me.